Signs Your Teenager is Stressed Out
Does your teen struggle with homework? Is he frustrated or acting out? These are signs that your child is feeling overwhelmed.
Life with a teenager can be difficult at times. It’s important to acknowledge the difference between daily ups and downs, and more serious signs that you don’t want to ignore. How can you tell the difference between normal teen problems and stress, and when a parent needs to step up and intervene?
1. Avoiding homework and study
Avoiding homework and studying is a good sign that school is becoming too overwhelming. Some people can tolerate stress and even help motivate them, but when stress gets too high for others, it can be easier to avoid it by running away from responsibilities. If you are noticing a shift in your teen’s study habits or an avoidance of a big project, it’s important to discuss what fears or stressors they may be feeling.
2. Fidgety and frustrated
If you notice your teen is having a hard time accomplishing school-related tasks, or that they are less organised or more easily frustrated, this could be a sign that they are stressed out. When stress rises to intolerable levels, functioning often becomes compromised. It is critical to notice these sign of stress and offer support. Helping your teen acknowledge that they might be feeling excessive stress, normalising the experience, and then offering tips to help can be valuable.
3. Isolating more than usual
Every teen and person is different, some people are naturally introverted and prefer to spend time alone. Others like to be more social. So it's important to look for any changes in your teen’s behaviour. Has your teen been spending more time alone at night and on the weekend? Are they willing to talk about this or are they avoiding the topic altogether? It's important to give someone space but it's also important to communicate that you care and support your teen, even if they aren’t willing to hear or acknowledge it.
4. Struggling in class
If the school if contacting you with any concerns about your teen, it’s a clear sign that they need some assistance. When stress starts showing up in the classroom or in their relationships with others, then it’s necessary to help find some healthy coping strategies. It's important to remember that most acting out at school reflect pain or overwhelming feelings that the teen is struggling with, not a desire to be self-destructive.
Start by communicating concern rather than anger, and openness rather than telling them that they are doing something wrong. Ensure you are empathetic and remember how tough it was when you yourself was a teenager.
Once you have identified that your teen is more stressed out than usual, then you need to think about what you can do. Doing what you usually do to destress as a family is always a good place to start. Asking for help at your child's school or from your trusted friends and family can also be of assistance.
Other strategies you could try are:
1. Neurofeedback for stress is an effective brain training method that teaches self-regulation and helps build resilience and flexibility. When we self-regulate, we are reducing stress. I recommend it for teens because unlike other stress management tools it does not require them to exert themselves other than to sit still listening to music for just half an hour.
NeurOptimal Neurofeedback system is a completely non-invasive technology that works by tracking the brain's electrical activity. The software then provides auditory feedback that triggers what is called the orienting response. This response regulates the brain’s ability to sense a change in the environment and take in new information about what is different. One of the common immediate results of neurofeedback is a feeling of calm during and after the session.
2. Mindfulness Meditation for teens is another great way to support a stressed mind and body. It is a tool that helps teenagers be able to identify and work with their thoughts and feelings. Meditation is beneficial during the teen years when they are developmentally trying to understand who they are as individuals. It creates a speed bump so they can become more familiar with themselves and understand and accept the ever-changing thoughts, emotions, and moods they experience.
Today, there are many meditation tools to help with managing stress. Your teen could watch a Youtube video or download an app like Buddhify or Headspace.
3. Exercise can be a very helpful tool for stress. Some kids get enough sport at school, but many don't. A walk through the neighbourhood or on the beach can be a great starting point. It’s a good idea to find out what activities they enjoy, so they are motivated to be regular at it. You know your child best and should think creatively about ways to engage him or her around exercise.
Teaching your teens through modelling stress management by your own actions is also a powerful way to communicate the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Don't be shy about finding creative approaches with your teen if he or she is resistant to more conventional supports. Remember that you can help your teen feel calm and centred and help them create healthy habits that can last their lifetime.
